A couple kissing in bed
How To Start Talking About Sex
Scared to speak up? Here are some tips for effectively starting the disscussion.
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One of the questions I often get from women at my pop ups is ” How do I talk with my man about sex?” . If you listen to my podcast Quickies With Myi then you know my answer always boils down to the foundations of effective communication. Here are a few tips for getting it done right after drumming up the courage and confidence to speak up and ask for what you want and need.
1. Make it casual.
Sex is a normal part of adult life, there is little need to set the stage before starting. Making a huge ordeal or saying “we need to talk” can make for a very apprehensive and anxious partner. Find a time thats comfortable for you both, such as pillow talk in the morning or on the couch watching tv.
2. Have an objective.
Why do you want to talk? What do you want to come from the talk? Have clear answers and state them early in the conversation. It may seem odd at first, but practice blurting out what you wish to come from the talk so that when you start the conversation your partner understands the goal. This will help them refrain from making their own assumptions, which may be wrong.
3. Be open to listen.
Because communication is a two way street, make a dedicated effort not only to listen but respond to your partners words. Take note of their verbiage and try not to simply rush to get your feelings and emotions out. Just as you would like to be heard, your partner yearns to be heard as well.
4. Have tact and compassion.
Sex is a sensitive topic for many. Be sure to add in reassurance and love to your words. Make sure your partner knows how you feel about them throughout the talk. Watch their body language, are they tense? Closed off? Checked out? A quick way to get back on track is to ask, what are you feeling right now? Then for their response and tend to their feelings accordingly
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