This week, we are answering the timeless question, “Why cant I find a good man?” We asked men, myself included their take on the real reason women seem to struggle so much with their dating pool. While no 2 men are alike, and no 2 women have the same situation, it’s a starting point.
Why can’t I find a good man?
My short answer to you…Standards
Standards are the core root of all relationship benefits or faults. Whether they are too high, or too low, if you take assessment of your standards, there is where you find you answer.
Many women announce to the world what they will and wont accept. When you publicly announce your standards, instead of showcasing all you have to offer and how incredible you are, you spend time telling the world who you feel doesn’t measure up.
High standards and openly claiming you have high standards can feed into a mans insecurities and lead him to believe that perhaps they could never meet your requirements. It could even possibly lead them to believe that you would leave them at the drop of a hat if you found someone better.
Alas, I am not trying to say a woman should settle for less than she deserves, just make sure your standards aren’t too far out of reach for whomever you might be interested in. – Lyndon Allen
Stop Playing Hard To Get
The second biggest reason why a woman can not seem to find a man is; ” playing hard to get”. This generation of men does not like games near as much as television would have you believe. Not all women subscribe to the playing hard to get game, but those who do are doing a huge disservice to themselves.
Don’t get me wrong, some men are just as childish as some women.
Odds are if they are into games like that, then they probably aren’t ready for a real relationship anyway. We appreciate honesty, the world is deceptive enough we don’t need more of a challenge than life has already given us.
You’re Too Stubborn
Being stubborn! Women can most definitely stubborn to a fault. Don’t stand in your own way of finding a good man because you have to have things exactly how you see it in your mind. A relationship takes 2 people.
When you start to date someone, throw all your plans out the window. Things should be decided together. That includes timelines, dates, relationship status. Actually take the time out to understand that it’s a process. Men don’t like to be placed into your perfect life plan. We are leaders and like to lead. Give us time and space to process. Perception changes as times goes on and feelings get involved.
A no, or not right now does not mean we aren’t interested or are no good. Try working with us instead of being set on what you want, when you want it or nothing at all.- Desmond Hamilton, 31
You’re Looking In The Wrong Places
You may be looking in the wrong places.
I continually see posts and hear stories that are so identical in nature one would think they are all one in the same!
Goes like this: I went out last night met this awesome guy. He bought me drinks and showed me a good time.
Fast forward a week IF it lasts that long they think they are in love, and then comes the inevitable. He cheated on me, he has a wife/girlfriend, haven’t heard from him….. it’s this same sad cycle that always ends in sadness and heartache.
Think about what you want from a man, then think about where that kind of man might be, or be doing. Guys are not elusive. If you want a man who is family oriented and loves his momma, he’s probably not in a bar.
If he is in a bar, he probably got dragged there by his friends. Let’s say you see guy that looks like he doesn’t want to be there. Go for that one. He may also be with his friends in a group, but they likely aren’t interested in you. They are there for guy time. Probably playing darts or another competitive game.
Good Men are not hard to find. We just don’t go out hunting for women. Probably why we finish last. – Jonathan Mitchell